Handling bossy and intimidating people

Somehow I thought I was failing in my ministry if I could not earn the love of every person in the church. There is no church where the pastor is loved by everyone.

At any given moment, 10 to 20 percent of any congregation would prefer to have someone else as their pastor.

Second, I expected these difficult people, along with every other person in the church, to love me.Then one day the Lord helped me to see they were just as difficult to get along with at home and at work.I never will forget these thoughts He injected into my mind: "You only have to deal with these people a very few hours of the week.Avoid the temptation to take them on in front of the group. Let them know you thought they were digging at you and ask them, "Did you mean it that way? They feel their lives are under the control of people who can't be trusted. Many times managing difficult people can tell you as much about yourself as it does about them." If they attempt to dismiss their remarks as a joke, agree that the joke was funny, but then add something such as, "But I thought I heard a dig in the tone of your voice." If circumstances require you to confront the person in front of the group, don't take him or her on directly. You must confront their "yes, but..." attitude with a positive statement of your own. You will need to describe for them what you propose to do. To foster your own growth, write down the things about these people that annoy you. Remember the guidelines in Matthew -17 and Ephesians . Dobbins is a respected Christian psychologist, minister and author.

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